V Vernacular

03/18/2007 (5:25 pm)

“Dude, I Might Be Able To Throw”

We won both of our games today, Hudson looked good, Heap and Frenchy almost simultaneously hit homers while playing across town from each other, our top outfield prospect (whose name is Jones, naturally) looked great at the plate, Chipper’s injury is minor (again) and hell, even on the Hampton front, things are looking up: he’s “amazed” with his relative health. Good news all around for the Braves today.

I think the best broadcast moment of the season may have already occurred. Sports South showed our game against the Tigers today, and right at the start of the ninth inning, they came back from commercial and showed one of the Disney vendors dancing around in the outfield picnic area, presumably trying to sell sodas or whatever the hell was in the little black cooler he was slinging around. I wish I had recorded this game so I could post a video — there is no way I can accurately describe the manufactured fey-ness of this gentleman. I guess Disney wants their vendors to act like “characters,” but he was clearly terrifying the fans out there, who all stared at him in horror as he skipped around with maniacal glee. He also appeared to be singing.

Anyway, Joe of course had to comment on this. Without the slightest hint of amusement, he says in disgust (and if you’ve never heard Completely Disgusted Joe, well, I guess you weren’t watching the games in June last year, but anyway it’s a treat): “Obviously, whatever he had in that container he’s already consumed.” To which Sciambi says, “Scary to think there might be more.” Not bad, Sciambi!

UPDATE: Thanks to commenter Dave for directing my attention to actual video of the vendor dancing! It is the greatest/scariest thing you will see all night, I promise. Also, I was wrong on one point: I thought everyone in the picnic area motionlessly stared at him like he was insane, but there is actually ONE sort of sketchy looking, possibly drunk guy down by the fence who is clapping and encouraging him. Look for him toward the end, he’s pretty incredible himself.

03/14/2007 (7:50 am)

Open-Minded Frenchy??

The game last night was a fun one to watch, despite the rookie pitcher Acosta who threw it away in the 9th.

Bobby probably has Nam Flashback-like memories of pulling pitchers after last year — he didn’t look too happy when he had to take Acosta out in the 9th.

Hitting looked good, relief pitching was excellent (until Acosta and the random rook who followed), and Huddy was, well, pretty good. Not bad, I guess. He still looks shaky with his location, and he gave up some hits and two runs. I don’t know — he wasn’t bad, but he looked an awful lot like the Huddy of last season, which makes me nervous.

Last night was the first Sports South broadcast of the season, and our first look at Jon Sciambi, the new announcer who will be working with Joe. To be honest, I found myself tuning them both out. Not intentionally, but the broadcast didn’t really captivate me. I did like their interviews with Frenchy, Chipper and Heap from the dugout. Hopefully these broadcasts will liven up a little bit throughout the season — one of my favorite broadcast moments of last season was Joe screaming, with complete sincerity, “OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THOSE COOKIES!” during a shot of the Devil Rays’ Lexus-Level type buffet area, which featured a giant tray of chocolate chip cookies. I also love Cynical Joe, who was of course constantly present after June last season, and in fact morphed into Angry Joe toward the end of the year. I actually thought he was going to physically attack Don Sutton a few times.

During the dugout interview with Frenchy, I almost fell off the couch when he said — TWICE — that he watched tapes of Heap hitting in the offseason! No wonder he’s been consistent during spring training. I’m really impressed that he would swallow his pride and do that, and especially admit to it, good job, Frenchy. Chipper said that his foot was fine, he could have stayed in the game Monday but didn’t want to risk it, and also mentioned that he works on his swing with his dad, which is interesting. Heap of course had them both beat, bringing up his engagement and saying he “found the right woman,” then blaming himself for being bad luck when the Astros got the lead during his interview. Aw, Heap, don’t be so hard on yourself.

In other news, they cut poor, beleaguered Joey yesterday. Hopefully he’ll come back later this season with some confidence, or at least looking less like he thinks the other players are giant spiders who want to eat him.