V Vernacular

03/18/2007 (5:25 pm)

“Dude, I Might Be Able To Throw”

We won both of our games today, Hudson looked good, Heap and Frenchy almost simultaneously hit homers while playing across town from each other, our top outfield prospect (whose name is Jones, naturally) looked great at the plate, Chipper’s injury is minor (again) and hell, even on the Hampton front, things are looking up: he’s “amazed” with his relative health. Good news all around for the Braves today.

I think the best broadcast moment of the season may have already occurred. Sports South showed our game against the Tigers today, and right at the start of the ninth inning, they came back from commercial and showed one of the Disney vendors dancing around in the outfield picnic area, presumably trying to sell sodas or whatever the hell was in the little black cooler he was slinging around. I wish I had recorded this game so I could post a video — there is no way I can accurately describe the manufactured fey-ness of this gentleman. I guess Disney wants their vendors to act like “characters,” but he was clearly terrifying the fans out there, who all stared at him in horror as he skipped around with maniacal glee. He also appeared to be singing.

Anyway, Joe of course had to comment on this. Without the slightest hint of amusement, he says in disgust (and if you’ve never heard Completely Disgusted Joe, well, I guess you weren’t watching the games in June last year, but anyway it’s a treat): “Obviously, whatever he had in that container he’s already consumed.” To which Sciambi says, “Scary to think there might be more.” Not bad, Sciambi!

UPDATE: Thanks to commenter Dave for directing my attention to actual video of the vendor dancing! It is the greatest/scariest thing you will see all night, I promise. Also, I was wrong on one point: I thought everyone in the picnic area motionlessly stared at him like he was insane, but there is actually ONE sort of sketchy looking, possibly drunk guy down by the fence who is clapping and encouraging him. Look for him toward the end, he’s pretty incredible himself.