I Can’t Make This Stuff Up

One thing I really like about baseball marketing is that it’s so incredibly uncool. As far as dorky promotions go, no other sport comes close. I think it’s because the franchises make special efforts to get kids involved in fandom, whereas in football, basketball and hockey, those fans aren’t as heavily catered to. Or maybe baseball players are just dorkier. At any rate, here are some of my favorite “there is no way that actually exists” moments in baseball marketing:

The Heap & Frenchy Valentine. My friend found one of these in her doctor’s waiting room and gave it to me — I guess they mailed them out to the . . . fan club or something? If I was working the Braves’ PR department, you would get one of these for every holiday. Maybe even every Friday.

Rent on Arthur. Because not only am I certain that my favorite ballplayers go grocery shopping together (duh!), I’m sure they also get pretty excited about sales on apples. I have to watch this clip from time to time, when I feel guilty over a loss because I got up to go to the kitchen right when we gave up a homer. The kid in the cartoon is not quite that psychotic, but it’s the same basic principal.

The video of Adam LaRoche making a caesar salad. Not only does this exist, it is still featured on the Braves’ official website! Just scroll down the “All aXess” column and watch the “LaRoche tries his hand at cooking” video. You may also be interested in a video about LaRoche getting lost in the team hotel, entitled, of course: “LaRoche: First road trip to the Big Apple.”

I like the new features they have on the TBS Xtra broadcasts this year — baby pictures, lockers, who doesn’t like those? — but I’ll miss the complete randomness, and the potential for a video of Heap cooking cornbread showing up one night and leaving Skip speechless. Though, actually, I’m pretty sure Skip is banned from any and all Xtra broadcasts.






7 responses to “I Can’t Make This Stuff Up”

  1. Leah Avatar

    Wow, I didn’t know that Rent was on Arthur. That’s something Chipper and Druw have yet to do even if Druw did try his hand at modeling. I always learn new and interesting facts about this team. They are just awesome, lol.

    And the thought of Mac making cornbread…I don’t know even know if he can cook the slightest bit, but that is something to ponder.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      That brings to mind my favorite Frenchy quote of all time, when some interviewer asked him about Heap’s “living habits” (the link used to be here, but AJC has taken it down — anyone know if subscribers get access to online archives?):

      “He’s gotten a lot better (laugh). He’s starting to clean up and taking better care of himself. I cook and he cleans. He does the dishes. I cook chicken for us a bunch, steak on the grill, probably three times a week. We’ve got a big screen TV. We’ve got it made.”

      Just the idea of Frenchy cooking dinner and Heap doing the dishes . . . oh my God. But anyway, yeah, Heap probably can’t cook.

      1. Leah Avatar

        That’s funny and somewaht scary to think about. But yes, I’m sure Mac’s fiancee does/will do the cooking. Mac sounds like he might be lucky if he can boil eggs or not burn a frozen pizza. Hmm..I wonder if Frenchy’s cooking is any good.

  2. RehabReject Avatar

    wow… very random videos indeed

    I like this one a lot. ahh Frenchy

    quick question.. how do you put links into comments without putting the whole code up? is it this –– ?

      1. Jenny Avatar

        I just use HTML — a href and all that.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      The title of that video should just be “2006.” Cause boy were we not laughing by June!

      He’s come a long way, that Frenchy.

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