Heap in All Star Land: DAY TWO (of Two)

Just kidding, it was the Barry Bonds Show Starring Barry! Four hours long, 70% commercials! Kicked off with the traditional Random Guy Gets Humiliated segment, sponsored by Taco Bell! Followed by awkward tribute to Willie Mays, sponsored by Cadillac, featuring Mays signing a ball and giving it to Reyes while Bonds stood nearby and looked at the ball longingly, as if to ask “where the hell is mine?” Which actually was hilarious, but anyway.

Big props to Heap for smacking gum at the camera like a badass during his intro. Hell yeah. The fact that he was forced to catch Wagner was an abomination, but at least he got his one at-bat. He seemed to be friendly with Dmitri Young (who will hopefully not be joining our team, despite negotiations, because that would be like Step One in getting rid of Salty and Salty is OURS GODDAMMIT) and with Russell Martin, the ex-pat saxophone player, who rocked this awesome getup at the Alyssa Milano party:

A Bedazzled van art panther and a plaid golf cap? Martin is officially rad enough to hang with Heap. I’m glad Heap found a friend while he was there, though actually I bet he mostly hung out with his parents, and I can only imagine the text message bill he must have rung up . . .

Frenchy: r u there yet?
Heap: yeah im on the red carpet
Frenchy: ne1 good there?
Heap: u kidding? griffeys like 5 ft away from me
Frenchy: omg omg
Heap: i know
Frenchy: is his wife hot
Heap: dude have some respect
Frenchy: sorry sorry
Frenchy: who else is there
Heap: everyone man, its awesome
Frenchy: :( :(
Heap: hey cmon
Heap: yr prolly doing something fun too
Heap: right?
Frenchy: . . .
Frenchy: i built a sandcastle
Heap: dude
Heap: did you take a picture of it?
Frenchy: um no
Heap: hello mcfly
Heap: hook me up with a picture of that sucker
Frenchy: k
Frenchy: take a pic of griffey for me btw
Heap: oh ive already taken like 50

So, now for two days without baseball. I’ve managed to pack plenty of plans with friends and family into these two days — you know, the “real people” in my life who I normally avoid for the entire summer cause, hello McFly, there’s a game on.






8 responses to “Heap in All Star Land: DAY TWO (of Two)”

  1. Leah Avatar

    It’s bad when no one seemed to take any pictures of Heap except the AJC and they only took one. Well, there is the one you posted in your last post & the two on Yahoo! (which one is the same from AJC), but other than that there are none that I can find. That’s so not cool. It’s like he wasn’t even there. Of course, everyone took a billion pictures of Barry Bonds like he’s the king of baseball. I’d much rather look at Heap any day of the week, any hour of the day, etc.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      Hopefully some pictures of Heap riding in the Heap Truck will show up on Webshots eventually. I’ve got my fingers crossed that he wore The Shirt on the red carpet this year.

  2. jaleesagirl Avatar

    Frenchy: is his wife hot
    Heap: dude have some respect

    Yep, that made my week. :D

    1. Jenny Avatar

      Haha, I’m glad to hear it. :)

  3. RainDelay Avatar

    Good stuff. I love the whole Heap/Frenchy thing.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      Thanks! I need a t-shirt that says “I love the whole Heap/Frenchy thing,” haha.

      1. Leah Avatar

        You should get shirts made and sell them, lol. Your slogans would be hilarious.

        1. Jenny Avatar

          Ha, only about ten people in the world would understand them, but that’s pretty much the status quo with anything I find funny. :)

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