V Vernacular

Hey, Remember Salty?

So, um. Jules is getting more playing time than I expected. Like, a lot more. In fact, where the hell is Salty? Anyone seen him lately?

Vizquel: Oh sweet God, is that the cold breath of Death I feel on the back of my neck?! Yes, I play for the Giants, but I’m not that old!!
Jules: No, no, Omar, it’s just me!
Vizquel: Oh, heh. Sorry, Julio.
Jules: That’s okay, I actually get that a lot.

I like Julio, he’s a good guy, and he’s impressive, what with his oldness and all. We were at the game on Thursday, which was supposed to be Heap Night, but Heap was benched and Jules was back, so it was pretty clearly Julio Night:

Heap actually would probably be in full support of Heap Night becoming Julio Night, given that he’s uncomfortable with the spotlight and consistently defers to his teammates with blushing glee. And to get off subject for a moment, oh my God, his post-game interview last night?? I actually say “Poor Heap!” anytime they catch him now; I thought he was getting more comfortable with these things, but oh, Heap. That one part where he was stuttering and totally lost his train of thought, then blurted out “I’m really excited!”? The fact that he said “thanks for having me!” at the end?? He’s the greatest.

But back to Julio Night: I get it, and I like him. I chanted “JU-LI-O” along with the rest of the stadium on Thursday, and cheered like crazy when he got his 2-RBI hit. But seriously. Salty? Is just, what? Pinch hitting? Oh, not even that? Cause we’ve got Woodward and all? OK. And if I’m completely honest with myself, though I have a sentimental fondness for Julio, I’d rather have Brayan Pena up here, so that we’d have a proper backup catcher with Heap behind the plate and Salty on first. Pena was pretty good off the bench, and it would allow Bobby to not keep Salty benched needlessly, and Heap might have, you know, a reprieve in a 15 inning game.

My picture of the Heap statue I procured on Julio Night is still forthcoming, as is a Wifey Post! Someone on Talking Chop suggested that I do one, and it makes sense, as about 75% of the searches that bring people to this site are about the Braves’ Wives/Future Wives, and do I have pictures of all of them? Of course I do! I’m just trying to think of a funny way to frame it — Braves Wives as they correspond to members of The Babysitter’s Club sounds funny to me, but I’m not sure that anyone who reads this blog was a BSC fan in their youth like myself.

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9 responses to “Hey, Remember Salty?”

  1. jaleesagirl Avatar
    jaleesagirl

    I had the BSC books, movies, and dolls. I mean, I was 8 but still. That was my first fandom. So I would love that post. Who’s Mary-Anne?

    I thought he was getting more comfortable with these things, but oh, Heap. That one part where he was stuttering and totally lost his train of thought, then blurted out “I’m really excited!”? The fact that he said “thanks for having me!” at the end?? He’s the greatest.

    Now I feel like a dumbass for turning my TV off. Damn damn damn!! My sister took pictures for me but I didn’t think anything of it. >_

    1. Jenny Avatar
      Jenny

      Mary-Anne is Scooter’s fiancee, of course!

      I know, I hate it when I miss that kind of junk — apparently I missed some great stuff when I went to Heap Night, including Joe revealing his inner fangirl by saying Heap and Frenchy would need therapy if they were separated.

  2. Leah Avatar
    Leah

    You already know my opionion on the Wifey/Future Wives post. I think it’d be cool. ;)

    Yes, Heap did look somewhat more comfortable than usual during his interview, but then his eyes would trail off looking at something and he’d get distracted. Maybe he forgot he was on camera, and then realized it, and forgot what he was saying. Who knows, but his hair is just hilarious. I just wish it wasn’t obviously getting thinner. Poor guy.

    1. Jenny Avatar
      Jenny

      His hair was legendary last night. I’m going to mourn it forever when it’s gone.

  3. RainDelay Avatar
    RainDelay

    And actually if I remember, Pena can play 3rd or 1st in a pinch. He’s done it a few times in Richmond. And Joe’s right, there would have to be intervention and therapy if Heap and Frenchy got separated.

    I’m thinking this year for my birthday I’m going to order a personalized Heap jersey. And when I say Heap I mean Heap. Not a “Brian McCann” jersey and jersey with #16 and “Heap” across the back. I figure I’ll be the only one in the country with one of those. lol

    1. Jenny Avatar
      Jenny

      I’ve been planning to get a Heap jersey like that, someday I will . . . so there will be two people in the country! I’d need a Frenchy one, too, and I also want a #18 Figjam jersey, if that’s even allowed. It’s actually an endearment, in my twisted world.

      1. Leah Avatar
        Leah

        Someone should get Heap shirts made and sell them.

        1. Jenny Avatar
          Jenny

          You could actually get them through the official site, just go to the customizable jersey area . . . you can get whatever number and any name you want (actually they have a list of a bunch of names you can’t get, mostly curse words, but I don’t think “Heap” would be on there!) the t-shirt versions are only like $25, I think.

          1. Leah Avatar
            Leah

            That’s true. I may look into that later on when I have some money.

            I guess I was thinking custom shirts, but the t-shirts will work as well.

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