V Vernacular

No Excuses, Except For This Really Good One

One principle that never fails when it comes to quotes from ballplayers: as soon as you hear them say “no excuses,” they’re about to offer up an excuse.

“There’s no excuses,” Moylan said. “The ball just kept slipping out of my hand, and no matter of rosin would keep it sticky. I’ve never had that problem before.”

That’s actually a pretty good excuse. I mean, I’ll take it. We don’t want to be mad at you, Moylan. Heck, I don’t want to be mad at any of them, except of course Hampton. I can’t even believe he has the nerve to dress out for games. He’s going to be my excuse when explaining this season as a fan. As soon as someone opens his mouth to, I don’t know, criticize our record at home, or Andruw’s complete offensive collapse, or that time Chipper slept with a Hooters waitress (it amazes me how often people cite this as a reason to hate the Braves), I’ll just say, “Yeah, well — no excuses, but, I mean. Mike Hampton.” That should shut them up.

Posted

in

by

Jenny

Tags:

Comments

6 responses to “No Excuses, Except For This Really Good One”

  1. RainIsBeautiful Avatar
    RainIsBeautiful

    Seriously. WHY is Hammy traveling with the team? Is he providing them with clubhouse ooomph? Obviously not. Is he providing them with Clubhouse Yeah!? Very probably not. ;)

    1. Jenny Avatar
      Jenny

      Haha . . . see, that makes me want to do one about Hampton, and just what the hell he gets up to on the road.

  2. Tara Avatar
    Tara

    This team is full of excuses right now….The only truth is that the pitching sux! And of all the games for the ball to “slip out of his hand”!? Now’s not the time fellas!

    My guess is, Hampton’ll get hurt in spring training ’08, too. Hope not, cuz we need him, but with his luck……

    1. RainIsBeautiful Avatar
      RainIsBeautiful

      I’m one of Moylan’s biggest apologists, I know. But the guy’s Australian. And technically a rookie. He’s not accustomed to pitching in high humidity (Atlanta’s been extremely dry this summer…dry for us anyway), and he may not have ever pitched in humidity like that before.

      1. Jenny Avatar
        Jenny

        He also pitches practically every night, courtesy of our awesome starting rotation.

    2. Jenny Avatar
      Jenny

      Yeah, I have no idea how effective Hampton could be when he does come back, if that ever actually happens . . . I used to forget he was even on the team, but lately he’s haunting the dugout constantly . . . did his wife kick him out or something??

Leave a Reply