Another Weird Season Bites the Dust

Jesus, what a game. It was truly the kind of thing only that Lynchian joke of a ballpark in Houston could deliver. Skip made it 100% enjoyable — I barely noticed that the regular starters who hadn’t already boarded the charter sucked on a comical level — and I’m really, really glad I recorded his final TV broadcast. As soon as it ended, I marked it “save until I delete” on my Tivo. Right up there with Frenchy and Heap’s first tandem interview with OKT, it will never be deleted. When Skip started off the broadcast by telling Chip “I almost called you Josh,” I knew I was in for some serious entertainment. The awkward Star Trek jokes, digs at the sponsors (all the better for the fact that he was basically doing a pastiche of his previous sincere objections to the Afleck duck), and his impatience with the constant hugging of Craig Biggio (somebody had to say it) were all delightful, as was his heartfelt message for the fans. I don’t know what the Braves would be like for me without Skip. I refuse to think about it.

And apparently “Peachtree TV” is a real . . . thing . . . of some sort? I had been under the impression that it was just a complex metaphor and/or inside joke.

The Phillies won the division today. Try saying that out loud without laughing mirthlessly in disbelief! Listening to Mets fans gripe is always fantastic . . . but the Phillies are just icky. At least I’ll have a passionate investment in the 2007 playoffs — watching the Phillies get eliminated! I’m personally rooting for the Indians to take it all . . . unfortunately, I think the Diamondbacks will take the NL title. I remember being really happy for them when they beat the Yankees in ’01, but that was a very different team. I can’t get behind anything that Eric Byrnes is a part of . . . my irrational hatred of him on behalf of Heap’s ankle prevents it. Also, I generally root against people who were once on the A’s. I’ve only recently forgiven Huddy for that former affiliation.

Alright, let’s get on with it:

The Valentine’s Day card! I knew we’d be in for a wild year when I laid eyes on this baby!

And then the Media Guide came out!

I never really understood why these pictures were taken . . . I think there was some big Heap n’ Frenchy Retrospective planned in spring training that never happened. Maybe they just took the pictures and left it at that.

In general, there were happy times:

Times when Heap was pissed off (justifiably, I’m sure!):

Days when they were both kinda over it:

Awkward wins?

Elbow-knock misfires:

Frenchy being Frenchy:

And Heap being . . . Heap:

No particularly memorable quotes this year, save for OKT asking Heap about the last thing that made him say “wow!” Take a wild guess.

Have a nice offseason, fellas! Watch each other’s backs at the bachelor parties . . . and please, for me . . . get drunk at each other’s weddings. I’m talking rehearsal, ceremony, reception — the whole nine. You didn’t deliver a World Series this year . . . not even a real playoff run . . . it’s only fair. Thanks in advance.

I’ll be back soon with some more legitimate — and interesting, I’d wager, to most people — end of the season wrap ups this week. Now that I don’t have ball games to watch at night, I might actually have time to update my baseball blog.

Published by Jenny

a.k.a.: Velcro Vernacular <info@talkingchop.com>

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16 Comments

  1. Man, I’m gonna miss seeing those two every day on my TV. The off season should be illegal. And not playing Heap in the last series at all so we can see him one last time? That’s just plain wrong. At least they showed him a good bit looking a bit confused as to what to do on the bench.

    Did you see the part of the broadcast where Heap and Frenchy were standing beside each other and TP was beside Heap? (Heap sandwich, heh.) They were clapping, trying to keep up with the crowd, I’m guessing. It was funny because Frenchy would be off, and then Heap would be off and miss the clap. TP kept going and getting the claps right. I think Heap eventually gave up though, and then just smirked at Frenchy when he messed up, lol.

    1. They were clapping, trying to keep up with the crowd, I’m guessing.

      Yep! That was probably my favorite dugout shot of the year, so cute.

      1. Someone needs to compile all the great McFrenchy moments into one for us McFrenchy fans to treasure and watch whenever we want. That’d be very nice, lol.

  2. LOL, those two pics of McCann and Francoeur staring at each other. Those are just funny. Kinda looks like an ad for eHarmony. Good thing they’re friends ’cause that would have been a bizarre photoshoot. “Okay, you two, stare at each other and smile… you know, a little manly-like, but mostly not?”

  3. Beautiful post, Jenny. :)

    My roommate is mad because I won’t turn the calendar to October — I told her as far as I’m concerned, it’s going to be Baby & Tyson until the new calendar comes.

    1. Thank you! I’ll be enjoying my Little Edgar portrait for October, but November is a picture of Davies, and it just depresses me to see him now.

      1. I totally ripped Chipper’s portrait out when his month rolled around. I think he was June and Frenchy was May, so it was Frenchy Month for two months in a row.

        I’ll be doing a post soon — probably sometime this weekend — about Huddy adopting “Elmo” (the cute Dalmatian in the pic with Andruw). There are a lot of outtakes with that pup, and I especially like the one where Elmo is trying to smooch Baby. Lucky dog. ;)

  4. Ya know, I used to not like Skip. But then, I used to be a stupid kid. With every game I listened to the radio and every game I watched on TBS with the Idiotic Duo (Chip and Joe), I really started to love Skip. It was also really nice for TBS to give Pete a little time. Skip and Pete are Braves baseball as far as I’m concerned no matter what AOL Time Warner thought was better for everyone else.

    Loved when Skip got on TBS for trying to banish him to radio.

    Thanks for your great writing during the season. After May ended and the rest of the sad season began, it was needed.

    1. Thanks so much — it was a sad season, but I miss it already. What the hell am I supposed to do at night without a Braves game? I turned on the playoff last night, but only got about five innings in before I got to that “eh, I’ll read about it tomorrow” place.

      Skip and Pete are Braves baseball as far as I’m concerned

      Same here. It’s like the team is a story they’re telling. It all feels a little less real if I’m forced to listen to Sciambi, who isn’t awful but just kind of there . . . at least Torborg got canned.

        1. I think listening to Gilbert Gottfried rave on about nothing is better than listening to Chip Carey talk about baseball.

          My head exploded just writing that.

          1. Haha — I know a lot of people hate Chip . . . I guess I can understand why, but I’m too much of a Caray family groupie to manage it. They’re the Kennedys of major league baseball.

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