Best And Worst of 2007

How delightful was it to watch the Phillies get swept? Go Rockies! Now, please enjoy my dumb opinions about the year. I’ve included the winners (and losers) from last year to add some perspective. Let me know what you guys think of my choices.

Best All Around Player: For me, it was Matt Diaz. His defense improved so much, and I knew that it would if Bobby just showed a little faith in him. And his offense never faltered. I’m sure the Braves will try to sell him to Japan again this offseason.
(Last year’s winner: Heap)
Runner-Up: Chipper
(Last year’s runner up: Smoltz)

Worst All Around Player: Mark Redman. No contest.
(Last year’s worst: Reitsma)
Runner-Up: Chris Woodward. WHAT THE HELL WAS THE POINT?!
(Last year’s runner up: Brian Jordan)

Best Surprise: Peter Moylan
(Last year’s best surprise: Matt Diaz)

Worst Surprise: Andruw Jones
(Last year’s worst surprsie: Tim Hudson)

Best Game: For me, it’s a tie between coming back to beat the Phillies in the 8th and 9th after we were down by six runs, and the last game I went to this season, when Devy got the win and we won in the 11th.
(Last year’s best game: September 17th against the Marlins)

Worst Game: Another tie, between all three games of our last homestand against the Mets, who were phenomenally awful at the end of the year, but still held us to like half a run throughout the series. What a joke.
(Last year’s worst game: HoRam’s meltdown in the first game of an important series against the Mets on July 28th. We ended up getting swept that time, too.)

Most Energetic: Yunel Escobar
(Last year’s Winner: Marcus Giles)

Least Energetic: Bob Wickman
(Last year’s winner: Adam LaRoche)

Best Sponsorship: Sonic, for using Joe and Chip in a “commercial”
(Last year’s winner: Rinnai Tankless Water Heaters: The Official Water Heater of the Atlanta Braves!)

Most Annoying Commercial: That fucking “Keno” piece of garbage.
(Last year’s worst: “It was CARRIE!!”)

Most Entertaining Phrase from a Commercial: “Cole slaw,” as said by Heap in the Sports South promo where they talk about their least favorite foods. I don’t know why, but I laugh out loud every time I hear him say that.
(Last year’s winner: “separate cat rooms” from a radio commercial for a pet service)

Most Uses of the Word “Awesome”: Heap
(Last year’s winner: Heap)

Biggest PR Disaster: Wicky. Everyone was all too happy to out him as an asshole after he got canned.
Runner-up: Chipper jumping at the chance to go off on Smoltz.
(Last year’s disaster: HomeboyGate)

Smartest Marketing Ploy: The AT&T All Star of the Game. Getting the players to sing karaoke on the jumbotron was a classic move, though I’d credit Frenchy before the
marketing department, because I’m sure it was all his idea.
(Last year’s winner: The McMansion Tours)

Stupidest Marketing Ploy: Jerome Jurenovich in general
(Last year’s stupidest: the MC Hammer video)

Best Announcer: Pete really impressed me even more than usual this year.
(Last year’s winner: Skip)

Best Broadcast Line (Televised): Everything Skip said on his last TBS broadcast.
(Last year’s winner: “You’ve just gotta go out there and be like, ‘Look, Dontrelle’” -Gant)

Best Broadcast Line (Radio): “Now he’s kicking dirt at Wegner — twice! Three times! Four! FIVE! SIX!!” — Pete, on Lou Pienlla’s meltdown in Chicago.
(Last year’s winner: “We used to have a fan in here, but I guess Fox took that, too.” -Skip)

Best Miked Player: Salty. Every word was priceless.
(Last year’s winner: Diaz, for his time traveling baseball player question that no one answered.)

Worst Miked Player: Heap improved a bit this year, but he was still kind of dull compared to Chuckie, Moylan, Paronto, Willie, and the others who were miked.
(Last year’s worst: Heap)

Hottest Player: Salty by miles. He’ll be missed.

Hottest Wife: Yunel’s. I believe her name is Minerva.

Best Screw-Up (?) By the Camera Crew: They showed a woman holding up a sign that said: “CHIPPER, SEND CHILD SUPPORT” for just a second after a commercial break in the 2nd one night.

Best Hobby: The Connect Four tournaments
(Last year’s winner: Todd Pratt’s Everquest addiction)

Best Fan Club: Salty’s Shakers were the only ones who really grabbed my attention this year.
(Last year’s winner: Edgar’s Eggs)

Biggest Fan of Heap: His brother Brad. And the article about the two of them was my favorite of the year.
(Last year’s winner: Jeff Torborg)

Most Overrated Managing Strategy: Any and every use of Pete Orr.
(Last year’s most overrated: lefty-righty platooning)

And some new categories for 2007:

Best Use of Telekinetic Powers: Frenchy, for shutting the stadium lights off with his mind after getting thrown out.

Most Anti-climatic Record-Breaking Event: Bobby breaking the all time ejections record. It happened between innings — I was there, and nobody noticed.

Most Matching Dogs: Heap & Frenchy. I think they’re up to five or six dogs between the two of them.


I’ll be back to post some of the best AP photos of the year later on today.






13 responses to “Best And Worst of 2007”

  1. Deep Throat Avatar
    Deep Throat

    You need but one number to win.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      I’ll try to keep that in mind.

  2. RainIsBeautiful Avatar

    Excellent post, but I’m going to have to disagree with “Most Annoying Commercial”. I’d be willing to bet I saw that stupid Diet Pepsi Max commercial — the one where everybody’s yawning — 500 times this year. That’s not an exaggeration…I counted it 8 times on SportSouth one night from pre-game to post-game. It was nightmarish.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      Yeah, I think I’d blocked that monstrosity from my mind. That guy who yawns while holding the giant onion or whatever scares the hell out of me for some reason.

  3. Dreamscape Avatar

    Going to have to disagree with Most Overrated Managing Strategy. No way was Orr’s contact/speed more overrated than Woodword’s “verstility.” And then, the useless idiot was called on to bunt. A task performed by starting pitchers. AND…he was the first right-handed bat off the bench.

    Opposing Manager: “Should we bring in the lefty to face Thorman?”
    Assistant Manager: “Hell yeah! What are they going to do…bring up Woodward?”

    Bobby: “What the hell are they laughing about over there?”

    1. Jenny Avatar

      True, true — but Orr is such a classic punchline. Woodward is just depressing.

    2. skeptic Avatar

      you forgot about craig wilson; he was clearly more useless.

      and i’m with dreamscape; orr is the only player that has a damn clue when it comes to baserunning.

      how about ‘most improved player’? ~which would go to francoeur, hands down. who would’ve thought he’d have so many walks and bring his avg up like that in just one season?

      (btw, i like the blog; it’s witty, but IMO the “heap” obsession gets real old. and the nickname sounds ridiculous coming from anyone other than brian’s close friends…)

      1. Jenny Avatar

        Frenchy improved much more than I expected; he really was a pleasant surprise this year.

        I come off as obsessed with “Heap”, eh? He just cracks me up, and I do think he’s one of the smartest guys on the team. I know the nickname is ridiculous (I hated it when I first heard it), but for some reason it got stuck in my head, and I just think of him as Heap now. Thanks for the comment.

      2. RainIsBeautiful Avatar

        It’s better than what I call him. Heh.

  4. gondeee Avatar

    That was fucking hilarious! I giggled during the whole thing.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      Thank you! I still need to do an end of the year Clubhouse Yeah! or somesuch over at Talking Chop.

  5. o rly?? Avatar

    …I keep trying to find all of my taped Salty miked up moments but I think I threw them away like a dumbass. :( PAIN.

    I personally enjoyed the Brian mishap when he caught the ball in his catcher’s gear. I do have that taped but all you can hear is me and my sister LOL’ing to death.

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