I was there for the Friday and Saturday games this weekend (it was like being kicked repeatedly while a bunch of Mets fans said “Jose” in a whimsical manner), and I watched all of Sunday’s delightful reprise, and today’s game . . . and yet I feel completely out of the loop. It’s sad when you get excited about returning from a vacation because you can once again obsessively check things online. Comments! Email! Three day old quotes! Boring AP photos! What did I do with myself for four days, besides watching actual baseball games??
Apparently I missed a lot. Wicky got canned because he offended Prince Frenchy (among other things, obviously, but still)? A sandwich may or may not have been involved? Smoltz has declared the season dead (as someone who did the same thing after both the Friday AND Saturday games — it was dead on Friday, but it was deader on Saturday, or at least, it bore repeating — I can’t exactly blame him)?
Everyone, please fill me in. Assume I know nothing. I want every Cynical Joe rant, word for word, and of course a full description (with visual aide, if possible) of any significant looks and/or gestures exchanged in the dugout, and for God’s sake, someone tell me what the near Frenchy throw down looked like on TV. Yes, I was on my feet screaming “GET HIM GET HIM” (or something like that — it was a completely instinctive response, hard to recall exactly) because at that point I would have counted the weekend as a relative success if I’d just seen Frenchy clock a Mets pitcher in the face (I mean, they hit Yuney! He had to miss a game! And then Frenchy, and all we do in retaliation is throw at the feet of The Most Exciting Player in Baseball?? These are the Mets! Let’s take a few down with us, eh?).
Things you missed while you were not at Turner Field, watching them play like maybe they personally hate you:
–This was my first experience with the Braves shuttle. It drops you off in a pretty bad part of town. Thanks, Braves! Also, even if you’re on a late shuttle and the game is starting in five minutes, they have this weird barbershop quartet get on the bus and sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” I’m not even complaining, it’s just — what? On Saturday I got to ride the shuttle with about twenty extremely loud Mets fans, and their ringleader was — no exaggeration — falling down drunk at four o’clock in the afternoon. He could barely talk. Someone needs to tell that guy that college football season has started — he no longer needs baseball games as an excuse to start drinking at six AM on Saturday.
–The Friday game was stunningly bad, as you know. When we left to get the shuttle, the fireworks started up, and they were exploding right over the area where the shuttle was loading, so ash was raining down on us. This was actually the highlight of the evening. It improved my mood immensely, and I’m not even being sarcastic. Also worth the price of admission on Friday was David Faustino (from Married with Children) singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” while quite clearly high, and my husband asking why he wasn’t in the Bud Zone.
–Worth the price of admission on Saturday was Frenchy and Huddy singing karoke on the jumbotron. Frenchy is frightening when he sings (again, I’m not really kidding, there’s something kind of dark about it), but Huddy was pretty funny. Huddy won the competition (based on votes texted in by fans) with 92% of the votes, while Frenchy only got 8%. They showed both of them in the dugout after the results where announced, and Frenchy tried to hide it, but seemed a little offended. I noticed this afternoon that my recent rage toward him has suddenly subsided. Couldn’t tell you why, really.
In other news, I got a job on Thursday, so pretty soon I’ll be working full time. I’ll try to keep up with the blog postings, but there may be a brief adjustment period. Also: I really need to scan the September picture on my Braves pet calender (for the love of God, someone tell me I’m not the only one who has this thing). It’s a picture of Heap with his dog, and they both look so over this photo shoot, which was unceremoniously done on the curb outside his house, making it even better — it’s hilarious.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.