V Vernacular

Category: Smoltz

  • A List Of Things I’m Mad About, Followed By A Hiatus

    I’m going on a little mini-vacation starting tomorrow and won’t be back online until Labor Day evening at the earliest. We’re actually going to be downtown all weekend, and we’re going to the Mets games on Friday and Saturday, but we’re staying in a hotel that charges like twenty bucks a day for internet access, […]

  • I’ll Drink To That

    Who are these guys? Last year, if we were down by one in the fifth I would completely write the game off as a loss, and I was almost always right to do so. Now we can have two outs and an 0-2 count on Woodward in the bottom of the 9th, and I’ll still […]

  • The Big Game!

    Every time the media makes a big deal out of a particular match-up, I’m reminded of my sixth grade drama class. At one point during the school year we had to write and perform plays, and one group in my class titled theirs “The Big Game.” On the day of the performances, this weird, skinny […]

  • Smoltzy’s Here to Stay

    The news that Smoltz signed a contract extension is not exactly surprising, but it’s definitely a comfort. I really admire him for staying with one team throughout his entire career, and I admire the Braves for being the type of organization that makes players want to stay. I hope it starts happening more often. Smoltzy’s […]

  • Wait . . . What?

    I’m so frustrated over that game last night, I’m sitting here having to tell myself to calm down. I was already in an overemotional baseball place after coming across a documentary about Cubs fans during lunch yesterday, which somehow had me in near tears for an hour. And now this happens, with no baseball tonight […]

  • Soriano Saves the Day (And Possibly Smoltzy’s Life)

    Last night’s game felt about eight hours long, especially during those last two outs in the eighth inning. Soriano may just be the great love of my 2007 baseball season. His composure is amazing, and he even gave Rent a little pat on the back in the dugout last night, surely to raise his spirits […]

  • Look Who Has A Bullpen

    What a great start to the season, a really exciting first game — I was up off my sofa jumping around when Rent hit that first homer to tie it up. It was such a perfect go-fuck-yourself for Slappy McWifebeater, knocking him out of the game with his tail between his legs. Skip had just […]

  • The Death-Defying Atlanta Braves

    First, our new bench coach had his SUV flip on the way to the park. Thankfully, he came away with just bruises. Then, Orr nearly offed Kelly with a line drive to his throat. And today, Smoltzie took a line drive to the chest while he was on the mound. He’s okay, very luckily. A […]

  • Let the Jokes About Chipper’s Sex Life Begin

    Chipper’s beard was a hot topic of conversation among the ESPN announcers today, during the first televised Braves spring training game (also the first game ESPN has televised this season). Apparently, the beard is Chipper’s way of “rebelling against his wife,” who hates it. Chipper was interviewed by the dudes after he was taken out […]

  • “Whatever. We’ve Got Yoga.”

    I’m starting to feel the pangs of real discouragement for the first time this preseason: Hampton says he’s a no go, despite Bobby’s optimism. I don’t know what scares me more, the idea that Hampton might flake out this season, or the possibility that Bobby’s ability to judge who is capable and who isn’t is […]