V Vernacular

09/30/2007 (7:24 pm)

Another Weird Season Bites the Dust

Filed under: Frenchy,Heap,Skip

Jesus, what a game. It was truly the kind of thing only that Lynchian joke of a ballpark in Houston could deliver. Skip made it 100% enjoyable — I barely noticed that the regular starters who hadn’t already boarded the charter sucked on a comical level — and I’m really, really glad I recorded his final TV broadcast. As soon as it ended, I marked it “save until I delete” on my Tivo. Right up there with Frenchy and Heap’s first tandem interview with OKT, it will never be deleted. When Skip started off the broadcast by telling Chip “I almost called you Josh,” I knew I was in for some serious entertainment. The awkward Star Trek jokes, digs at the sponsors (all the better for the fact that he was basically doing a pastiche of his previous sincere objections to the Afleck duck), and his impatience with the constant hugging of Craig Biggio (somebody had to say it) were all delightful, as was his heartfelt message for the fans. I don’t know what the Braves would be like for me without Skip. I refuse to think about it.

And apparently “Peachtree TV” is a real . . . thing . . . of some sort? I had been under the impression that it was just a complex metaphor and/or inside joke.

The Phillies won the division today. Try saying that out loud without laughing mirthlessly in disbelief! Listening to Mets fans gripe is always fantastic . . . but the Phillies are just icky. At least I’ll have a passionate investment in the 2007 playoffs — watching the Phillies get eliminated! I’m personally rooting for the Indians to take it all . . . unfortunately, I think the Diamondbacks will take the NL title. I remember being really happy for them when they beat the Yankees in ’01, but that was a very different team. I can’t get behind anything that Eric Byrnes is a part of . . . my irrational hatred of him on behalf of Heap’s ankle prevents it. Also, I generally root against people who were once on the A’s. I’ve only recently forgiven Huddy for that former affiliation.

Alright, let’s get on with it:

Your McFrenchy Moments of the Year!

I’ll be back soon with some more legitimate — and interesting, I’d wager, to most people — end of the season wrap ups this week. Now that I don’t have ball games to watch at night, I might actually have time to update my baseball blog.

09/29/2007 (9:22 am)

Preach It, Frenchy

Filed under: Frenchy,Joey Devine

From last night’s AJC wrap:

Afterward, 23-year-old Francoeur praised some other, less-established Braves youngsters, including reliever Joey Devine, who got slugger Lance Berkman to fly out with the bases loaded to end the seventh inning.

Well, at least somebody has mentioned something in the press about the good work he’s done up here this year. Thank you, Frenchy.

I have to confess, I only watched the very end of the game last night . . . we were at a Thrashers pre-season game. Normally I hang in there until the end no matter what, and I’ll be watching today and Sunday’s game (last regular season game ever on TBS! Skip and Chip calling it!), but someone I work with gave me some great tickets for the Thrashers game, and though I missed a good outing by the Devinator, I’m not otherwise too upset that I didn’t get to see Frenchy and the Youngsters kick the asses of Beloved Old Biggio and the Gang.

I can’t believe Slappy McWifebeater was the one who officially ended our season. It was ironic, considering that we got our season off to such a great start against him. Oh, well. I’m actually rooting for the Phillies to get the division rather than the Mets . . . sort of. I hate the Phillies and their fans more on a personal level, but I was there for two games of that Labor Day weekend sweep by the Mets . . . and though it really mostly made me mad at the Braves for playing so horribly . . . I’d also like to see the Mets get their asses kicked here at the very end, even if it is by the Phillies. What can I say . . . they’re the Mets.

Sorry again that I’ve kind of flaked out here at the end of the season — I’m still adjusting to the new job schedule (as opposed to my old ‘get up at ten o’clock, update the blog, and watch reruns of Law and Order for the rest of the day’ schedule), and we’re officially under contract on the house we want to buy, so things are going to remain busy here for a bit longer, but soon I’ll be tossing up some end of season recap kind of material, so stay tuned.

09/23/2007 (10:13 am)


Filed under: Frenchy,Joey Devine

Irretrievable playoff race aside, yesterday was perfect. We went to the game, and much like the last game we went to in 2006 (where we also won in extra innings, thanks in large part to the other team’s defensive errors), it was the most fun we’d had at the park this season. FOUR Braves sang on the All Star of the Game feature (and Moylan made a homoerotic joke about Frenchy, bless him), there were extra innings, game-tying pinch hit homers, and for the love of God, DEVY WAS THE WINNING PITCHER!

I’ve been wanting to see Devy get some significant action all year, and Bobby finally put him into an intense situation, as he well should have, since Devy had just accepted an AA Pitcher of the Year award at a ceremony before the game. He got the first batter he faced, and then someone had the brilliant idea to walk the bases loaded (Bobby may be intentionally trying to drive the kid mad . . . the jury’s still out). Devy, predictably, had his panic attack. I was having a sympathy panic attack for him in the stands as well. I felt like I was watching a family member out there, teetering on the brink of insanity. The count went to 3-0, and walking a run in may have been worse for his psyche than giving up a slam (okay, it wouldn’t have been, but Slam Number Three was a distinct possibility, too, and like the time Frenchy fell over the side of the outfield wall and disappeared into the stands at the last game we went to in ’06, I was afraid I was about to witness the death of a favorite player, emotionally if not literally). The obnoxious teenagers next to me began to scream “YOU SUCK!” I considered physically harming them, but then . . .

Devy got out of it! Man, I went crazy. Best moment of the year for me personally. I was so, so proud of him. I had been begging Bobby (from the very back of section 410, maybe he heard me) to put him in, and he really did me proud. When they announced that he was the winning pitcher as we were walking out . . . I nearly teared up. Well, not really, but I considered the fact that tearing up would be appropriate. Truly, it was a triumph of the human spirit.

Also, one of them bought a yellow Corvette that looks exactly like Heap’s black one, and parked it next to his in the player’s lot. Until proven otherwise, it was Frenchy.

Really good game.

09/16/2007 (4:14 pm)

Awwww . . .

Filed under: Heap,Huddy

Now that was just downright heartwarming.

Way to go, Huddy (and Heap).

09/15/2007 (4:44 pm)

Best Promotion Ever

Filed under: Chuckie

Where do they come up with this stuff?

It’s awesome, don’t get me wrong, but I’m left wondering if it was all Chuckie’s idea (quite possible), or if he just walked into the clubhouse one day and some PR girl came up to him and said, “GUESS WHAT?!”

09/12/2007 (7:50 pm)


Filed under: Heap

I just wanted to apologize quickly for being so quiet on here and on Talking Chop lately. I just got a new job, and I have yet to work out how I’ll do anything other than commute, work, eat and sleep. I’ll figure it out eventually, then I’ll get back to the business of posting regularly. Unlike my previous university job, at my new job I actually have stuff to do all day long, and can’t fool around on the internet.

A few notes from this Mets series so far:

–The Sad Heap shot at the end of the first game? Epic. They showed it twice, then Pete mentioned it during the next game. “No one is more broken up than Brian McCann,” or some such — “he leaned on the dugout railing for FIVE MINUTES!” Nobody does depressed like Heap.

–I’m at the point in the season where, after a win like last night’s, all I can think is, “ah, at least Heap won’t cry himself to sleep!” That’s right, boys, win them for Heap. Cause, why bother, otherwise. But I’m not bitter or avoidant when we don’t go to the playoffs. I’m getting sad already, thinking about the baseball-less months ahead, and I appreciate the games we have left.

–Anybody know anything about Skip? Is he just taking the rest of the year off and everything’s fine? That’s what I’m hoping . . .

My new boss is a huge Braves fan, by the way. I think it’s one of the reasons I got the job — I was talking about the damn Braves about five seconds into the interview. Hey, he had a Braves mug holder on his desk, I had an in!

09/09/2007 (10:30 am)

Behold The Power of Little Edgar

Filed under: Frenchy,Heap

Yeah, I’m posting this every day until we lose:

It could be the power of the Nationals (or lack thereof) that is allowing us to win, but weren’t they on a five game winning streak before they came to Atlanta? Haven’t they been getting more press cred than the Braves all year, for outshining expectations? I continue to have faith in Little Edgar. He’s at least put some kind of powerful curse on Zimmerman’s throwing arm.

Here’s a cute picture of Frenchy and Heap (and Yates) as well, for good measure:

Last year, Labor Day weekend was a nightmare (remember the game where Howard hit three off of Huddy?), but afterward I was able to enjoy the rest of the season. The same thing seems to be happening this year — I’m watching the games without dread this week — but we’re not quite as dead in the water as we were in 2006. Today is Bark in the Park day, so I estimate about 19,309 more Lance Barksdale jokes from Chip. I just hope Skip shows up today — where has he been?

09/08/2007 (3:37 pm)

It Worked Yesterday . . .

Filed under: Heap

Again, a picture of Rent and his goldfish:

Help us, Little Edgar. You’re our only hope!

Great — though bizarre — game last night. Watching Smoltzie pitch like that is a blast, even though he didn’t get the no hitter. How strange was that incident with the security guard, though? And how about the look on Extremely Cynical September Joe’s face while the whole thing was going down? He looked like he wanted to enact revenge personally. I think that idiot who ran onto the field is in for way more trouble than he expected.

Some semi-bad news: Heap might have to have surgery in the offseason. Hopefully it could help out with his ankle problems, but the fact that his surgeries are starting before his twenty-fifth birthday . . . sucks. I’ll send a get well soon card, certainly.

09/07/2007 (2:55 pm)

Time To Break Out the Big Guns

Filed under: Rent

In one of his quotes, Frenchy brings up the incident that I always think of whenever things start to look impossible:

“For us, I know mathematically it’s getting tough to make the playoffs, but you’re never out of it,” right fielder Jeff Francoeur said. “The A’s won 20 games in a row a couple years ago (2002), and we’ve seen teams go on big winning streaks and teams falter late in the year.”

As long as this is still a true historical fact, hope is not lost! I guess! I mean, this was not my mood at all this weekend, but hey, that game on Wednesday? Maybe it was a sign! We do have one of those 20-game in a row A’s on our team! You never know!

What I’m trying to say is: here’s a picture of Rent and his goldfish for good luck.

Sorry for the sliced-off text, but my scanner isn’t big enough to capture this photo in its full glory. Thanks to the Braves Pet Calendar for the image. I got such a kick out of Little Edgar that, shortly after buying the calendar at CNN Center, I went to a Thrashers game, had a few $10 daiquiris and texted “merry xmas little edgar!!!” to the scoreboard. It’s one of the few things I’ve ever texted there that actually made it past the censors.

The Cardinals may have the incredibly awesome Rally Squirrel, but we’ve got Little Edgar.

09/06/2007 (8:16 am)

“Matty Being Matty”

Filed under: Frenchy

No one can celebrate a walk off quite like Frenchy:

I actually missed seeing the party at home plate live: I had watched the comeback in the 8th, but had to drive somewhere and was just pulling into the parking lot, listening on the radio, when they pulled it off in the bottom of the ninth. Pete was going crazy, and I was squealing and clapping for Matty and all of them, really. This was a moral victory, if nothing else. The only comment of Pete’s I remember is “Charlie Manual still hasn’t moved!”

Frenchy is good at happy quotes, too:

“To get something like this was huge,” Francoeur said. “Finally we got a little break. This team deserves it.”

As frustrating as it’s been to watch them lately, I think he’s right, it really felt like they deserved some luck for once. This game reminded me of the game on September 17th last year, when we scored six runs in the bottom of the tenth to beat the Marlins. Every little bloop hit fell in, guys were making errors all over the place . . . it just felt ordained that we would win that game.

Now, of course: an off day. D’oh!

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