V Vernacular

Category: Langerhans

  • The Ushers Should Be Robots

    So I figured out who keeps starting the wave at Turner Field. It’s this one old guy, and wouldn’t you know it, he works there. Sort of. Before I begin this rant, I’ll acknowledge that many people like old people who are “characters.” You know the old people I’m talking about. Around or over eighty […]

  • Lucky Salty and Hapless Langerhans

    Well, if that doesn’t lend credence to my theory that Salty does voodoo on our catchers, I don’t know what will. Heap and Pena are injured in the same game, and then Salty comes up on his birthday? There was some chicken blood involved, I’ll bet. I love how the AP photographer got Depressed Heap […]

  • Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

    Last night, Bobby and the crew left Colorado with a mission: Selling some robots. I imagine it went a little something . . . like this: Bob Geren: Huston! Huston!! Huston Street: Yah, coach? Bob Geren: Tell Billy that if he gets a centerfielder to be sure it speaks Stoner. Huston Street: It looks like […]

  • Wait . . . What?

    I’m so frustrated over that game last night, I’m sitting here having to tell myself to calm down. I was already in an overemotional baseball place after coming across a documentary about Cubs fans during lunch yesterday, which somehow had me in near tears for an hour. And now this happens, with no baseball tonight […]

  • Soriano Saves the Day (And Possibly Smoltzy’s Life)

    Last night’s game felt about eight hours long, especially during those last two outs in the eighth inning. Soriano may just be the great love of my 2007 baseball season. His composure is amazing, and he even gave Rent a little pat on the back in the dugout last night, surely to raise his spirits […]

  • Playing Favorites (Literally)

    Try to guess which sentence from this article about Aybar’s suspension infuriated me. That’s right, it’s this one: Even if he reaches a point where he’s healthy enough to play, the Braves may have a hard time placing him on the roster in favor of Pete Orr, who is a clubhouse favorite, beloved by teammates, […]

  • Bizarro World

    Losing to the Nationals with Smoltz on the mound wasn’t even the strangest thing about last night, nor was being shut out by the infamous Nationals pitching staff. The strangest part about last night was Heap striking out and Frenchy following with a two-out walk. What is going on here. The worst thing about this […]

  • The Langerhans Primer

    Since the Braves have a much needed off day after one exhausting day of regular season play, now seems like a good time to bring my new readers up to speed on my theory about Langerhans. Readers of my previous semi-Braves blog will remember this one. Ready? Okay: he’s a robot. How else to explain […]

  • Braves Dig the Long Ball

    We beat the Pirates today, 8-5. Aybar hit one out in the first, Kelly somehow pulled off a broken bat home run in the sixth, and Langerhans hit one in the seventh. Our strategy seems to be “overwhelm with scattered home runs,” as it was last year (after the All-Star break, at least). Hopefully this […]

  • Preseason Frenchy Drama?

    The AJC revealed last night that Frenchy turned down the original salary the Braves offered him, and was then bitch-slapped with an even smaller salary in return. It seems strange to me that a player with less than two years of service would think that he could negotiate for more money when the team could […]