V Vernacular

Category: Gonzo

  • What’s Wrong With This Picture

    From an AJC article about Gonzo’s impending return: Gonzalez ate dinner at Smokey Bones barbecue every night in early April so he could catch Braves games on satellite. Every NIGHT? Isn’t he like . . . a millionaire? I suspect even the guys making the league minimum could afford satellite TV, yes? Maybe he’s in […]

  • Good Game, Bad News

    The team really impressed me as a whole last night, and it was a fun game to watch (except when the Vulch blew the save, but Colyer and Moylan managed to not completely destroy our chances, and thank God for Wicky). Davies looked fine, seemed to give up the fly ball pitcher identity he borrowed […]

  • “Like An Alimony Payment”

    The only things I really enjoyed about last night’s game were the Wrath of Bobby and Skip comparing the game to an alimony payment, which makes absolutely no sense, but was wonderful just for that reason. Much like Skip’s first wife, I guess the Nationals deserved the win. They’ve been through a lot. I’m now […]

  • Let the Wacky Races Begin!

    Every now and then, the Braves play a game that comes off looking like an episode of the Wacky Races. A Wacky Races game necessarily involves extra innings, some combination of weird errors and amazing plays, and fans acting like morons. Usually, it also involves the Cubs. Like that game last year, where we hit […]

  • When Your Batting Coach Laughs In Your Face . . .

    You know what, Terry, when Frenchy comes up to you and says he wants to improve his plate discipline, your response probably shouldn’t be “yeah, right.” You can think it, I don’t blame you, but damn. As if the press isn’t giving him enough of a (deserved, but still) complex. How many times now has […]

  • Baseball: Best Enjoyed In Your Boxers, With Donuts

    My notes from the game on ESPN today (we beat the Phillies 7-4), and explanations: Chipper mohawk? — Did anyone else notice that Chipper was rocking this kind of half-mohawk thing? The hair on the side of his head was shorter, and on top it was pointed in kind of a v-shape. Is that just […]

  • Rock’em Sock’em Braves

    Davies and McBride were both shaky on the mound in our game against the Nationals today, but they’re the Nationals, so we still won 10-6. But don’t worry: Davies says “[his] groin felt great!” So we can all rest easy there. McBride, I don’t know. I could feel how tense and uncomfortable he was through […]

  • Let the Jokes About Chipper’s Sex Life Begin

    Chipper’s beard was a hot topic of conversation among the ESPN announcers today, during the first televised Braves spring training game (also the first game ESPN has televised this season). Apparently, the beard is Chipper’s way of “rebelling against his wife,” who hates it. Chipper was interviewed by the dudes after he was taken out […]

  • “You Want Me to Throw a Changeup With a Pepper?”

    Still not a lot of news out of camp, save that Harrison will pitch against Tech on Wednesday, and Davies will start against the Dodgers on Thursday, meaning Smoltzie will start against the Pirates for the first televised game on Friday! I’m very excited to see that, and to hear about how Harrison and Davies […]

  • Andruw’s Culinary Adventures

    Andruw has arrived at camp, amid lots of questions and speculation about what he’ll do next season. I’m sure it’s on his nerves, and it’s damn well started to get on mine. It’s unlikely that he knows what he’s going to do at this point, and even if he did, he’s not going to talk […]