This is probably obvious, but I’m ridiculously fond of ballplayers’ quotes in throwaway articles about their performances. The whole exercise is a little insane when you really think about it, and reminds me of an old episode of Dr. Katz where a Conan O’Brien-type late night host is interviewing a model and says, “So, you’re very beautiful. How do you do that?” Post-game interviews aren’t quite that absurd, but they’re always funny, and can be a little excruciating when players have to come up with an explanation for a horrible game. I can’t fault the players for offering stupid sound bytes, or the beat reporters for collecting them, because as a fan I certainly look forward to them. Last night’s crop was rather excellent:

“Geesh … whiz … I don’t know what to tell you,” Cox said, trying to find words to evaluate Redman’s performance. “Balls were hit hard. He’s got to get inside [with pitches] more. … I still have confidence in him.”

I like how Dave included that “sh” to save Bobby the humiliation of a literal “gee whiz,” and yet, with the “geesh,” does the “whiz” really make sense? Anyway, “balls were hit hard” is a great response to a horrible outing for a starter, and Bobby is so good about sticking up for his guys in the press, even when you know he’s giving them hell in the clubhouse.

“Some nights you’re going to have pitching, some nights you’re going to have hitting,” said catcher Brian McCann, whose sacrifice fly in the sixth provided a 7-6 lead the Braves wouldn’t relinquish. “Tonight we scored a lot of runs.”

Heap usually sticks with the obvious. Good strategy. Sometimes there is pitching, sometimes there is hitting, sometimes you score runs. You can just picture Heap smiling politely and walking away during these quotes.

Redman has faced the Marlins twice in 12 days — and given up 13 runs and 13 hits in 5-2/3 innings. “They have my number,” he said.

Well, yeah. Who doesn’t? I think someone in major league baseball has been writing your number on bathroom stalls, Redman.

Speaking of ballplayers and the press: just in case I’m not the only one who is fascinated by lengthy Christian media interviews with Frenchy, here’s a good one. This is the second one I’ve seen where he tells the interviewer that his biggest temptation as a professional athlete is cursing. Oh, Frenchy. You’re so good at this it’s scary. Though actually, while his solo interviews are charming works of art, if you’ve ever seen him interviewed alongside Heap (hopefully everyone saw the Katy Temple one last year, with the nachos and the cheese fries? If not, I’ve got it transcribed and can post a link), he becomes a hyperactive five year old and interrupts everyone constantly. Which is also charming, in a way.

How predictable was Chip’s mention that Frenchy got advice from Heap in the batting cage just before he went on his four hit tear on Monday? You tell him, Heap. Keep him in line! And please work on Diaz while you’re at it.



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9 responses to “Quotable”

  1. Leah Avatar

    Mac always states the obvious, but I guess with Redman being the topic, he figured he might better. At least he didn’t try to comment on how badly Redman did like Bobby did, which is funny by the way. They showed Bobby in the dugout just shaking his head at how badly Redman was doing. Maybe he’s finally catching on.

    Mac and Frenchy interviews are awesome. It’s like Mac knows Frenchy is going to interrupt him so he doesn’t even try to answer the question first. Mac waits politely until Frenchy shuts up long enough for Mac to say a few words then Mac gets interrupted while bringing up a point Frenchy forgot to put his in input about. I recorded that that Katy Temple interview and it was very interesting.

    That’s cute. Our Mac giving out batting tips to Frenchy. I agree, maybe he should give a few to Matty and help him better his at bats. He’s already good, but think of how much better he’d be with Mac logic behind his swing.

  2. RehabReject Avatar

    “Frenchy got advice from Heap in the batting cage just before he went on his four hit tear on Monday. You tell him, Heap. Keep him in line! And please work on Diaz while you’re at it.”

    …. and please tell Langerhans to lower his elbow, quit that little toe-tap, shorten his swing……. and GEESH .. WHIZ… get a frickin’ hit!

  3. Corsair Avatar

    I would kill to see that Katy Temple interview video…I’ve read the transcript, but there are some things you just have to see for yourself – you know if it’s on the internets somewhere?

    Yah Langerhans needs some help…I started to feel sorry for him when we got intentionally walked last night…he looked so pitiful.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      We’re having some computer problems in my household right now, but I really, really want to rip it off of my Tivo soon . . . I don’t trust my Tivo with such a treasure. It’s classic, classic. When I do transfer it to my computer I will most definitely post it here. Hell, I’ll give it its own index page.

  4. wuky Avatar

    “… I still have confidence in him.” YIKES!!!

    No wonder players like playing for Bobby so much.

  5. Bethany Avatar

    I never saw the Katy Temple interview, could you post the transcript? Thanks!

    1. Jenny Avatar

      I sure can! I’ll try to do that today.

      1. Bethany Avatar

        Great, thanks. By the way, I recently discovered this blog and I absolutely love it! You do a great job!

        1. Jenny Avatar

          Thanks so much! Sorry I haven’t posted the transcripts, ended up being a busy weekend, but I’ll do it today (for real this time!). :)

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