V Vernacular

03/29/2008 (6:37 pm)

Opening Day Eve

Filed under: Preseason

Apparently we’re actually carrying three catchers this season. I don’t know why, but I like it. Probably because it reminds me of a line in Major League II, but that’s true of most things I approve of in baseball.

So, the Braves are likely settling into their hotel rooms in Washington D.C. right now, maybe stepping out for dinner, anticipating playing the first game of the season in a brand new ballpark tomorrow night. Exciting! Here are three AJC pictures from today’s game, the last of spring training, which I found to be potentially portentous:

1. An umpire pointing toward the heavens with grim accusation.

2. A few resilient fans huddled miserably in the outfield, two lucky sevens visible on the electronic scoreboard.

3. Heap picking his nose.

What does it all mean? Only the coming months will tell. I can’t shake the weird feeling I have about this season. It is of a mostly bad nature. Prove me wrong, Braves!

Semi-related note: I saw Smoltz interviewing Frenchy on CSS today. For the love of God, Smoltzie, AJC reporters, everyone: quit referring to the McFrenchy wives at their “new roommate[s].” I cannot handle it. Thanks in advance.

03/27/2008 (3:49 pm)

Frenchy Media Goodies

Filed under: Frenchy,Preseason

As you can see, Frenchy is not the only thing that got wider in 2008 — I’ve made the blog fat so I can post bigger pictures. I just thought I should address that, in case anyone was startled.

I stayed home from work this afternoon to watch the game. Oliver Perez did his best to seriously injure himself (I was expecting a lightening storm to blow in after the face plant and his troubles with navigating those tricky dugout stairs didn’t faze him), but otherwise it was pretty dull, though they did interview Bobby, Frenchy and Glavine. Bobby seemed pretty annoyed to have to deal with the ESPN “personalities” while he was trying to watch the game and make important backup catcher decisions, and actually, shockingly, so did Frenchy! I’ve only seen a few 2008 interviews with Frenchy, but he seems kind of cynical and over it, still polite, but not as enthusiastic about answering the same Smoltz/Tiger/golf questions 10,000 times as he has been in years past. I can’t blame him for that.

I am kind of disappointed that he obviously had his wife write this for him (she’s an English teacher who used to write his papers for him in high school). It could have been really funny, but I suppose he is a busy guy with a lot on his mind.

03/25/2008 (12:56 pm)

Opening/Bitch About Japan Day

Filed under: Preseason

The A’s played the Red Sox in Tokyo this morning. BASEBALL IS OFFICIALLY SOULLESS! Or just kind of ridiculous on occasion, which is not exactly news.

Now for some increasingly irrelevant spring training pictures!

One of the reasons I took so long to post these is that, looking back through them, I realized that most of my pictures look like this:

Which makes for a fun game of Guess That Butt, but not for scintillating photographic journalism, which I am of course known for. But here they are, all the same:

The first game we attended was a home game against the Dodgers, and we sat right by the Braves dugout, which was fun. We had a nice view of Matty chewing on his hand, for example.

We also had a close up view of the national anthem lineup. This is one of my favorite pictures, Frenchy reminding me of a little leaguer during the anthem.

Peter Gammons hung out in our section for awhile, then left to have a very serious discussion with a camera guy.

The antics of Moylan and Kelly.

I could crop this picture better before shrinking it, or I could just throw caution to the wind and see if I can remember who the hell these guys are!

1. Mystery butt
2. Shafer, closely examining a bat
3. Some guy named Falco.
4. Miscellaneous infielder
5. Tex
6. Matty! I’d know that posture anywhere.

Let’s see how many I got right:

1. Mystery butt was Kotsay. Maybe that’ll be his new nickname.
2. Shafer consulting Falco about his bat
3. Falco offering the bat his full attention
4. Chipper!
5. Still Tex
6. Most definitely Matty

The undisputed star of spring training, Yuney.

One of two worthwhile pictures I took during the second game we attended, against the Astros, also at the home field. All my other pictures that day were of Hunter Pence.

Wholesome McFrenchy goodness. There was not enough of it during spring training. Let’s hope that the fragile transitional period is over — bring on the meaty regular season. Which I guess has technically started, in Tokyo, but that American League foolishness isn’t real baseball anyway, so to hell with the whole thing. The new year begins on Sunday.

02/27/2008 (10:03 pm)

Headed to Orlando/Kissimmee/Buena VistaLand

Filed under: Frenchy,Heap,Preseason

We’re leaving for spring training bright and early tomorrow morning — any requests? I’m not sure what I mean by that, but probably pictures.

Speaking of pictures, check it:

Heap never fails to find the ugliest sunglasses of all time and wear them with pride. I can’t wait to again witness this phenomenon in person.

02/23/2008 (11:12 am)

Spring Has Officially Arrived

Filed under: Kelly,Preseason

The AJC pictures from spring training haven’t really captivated me so far, but this is an instant classic:

Porter is totally giving them the talk. An annual tradition, I’m sure. Note that none of the big stars were required to attend.

Kelly looks completely offended.

02/16/2008 (1:49 pm)

Spring Training Update

Filed under: Preseason

New pictures from the AJC this afternoon:

Frenchy has of course arrived early.

Bobby is doing his iconic poses with cigars, a spring training tradition.

People are getting back into the habit of being grabby with Heap, after a long Heapless winter.

And Phillies fans are looking on in jealous disgust.

. . . All is right with the world!


Did Yates gain a bunch of weight, or is that just an unflattering haircut?

02/11/2008 (8:30 pm)

“Big Daddy, As They Call Him”

Filed under: Frenchy,Preseason

Check out the latest Frenchy interview.

The staging is extremely uncomfortable. It seems like three guys just cornered him with a bunch of inane questions (give it a fucking rest with the SI cover already) as he was leaving the men’s room in a fancy hotel. He looks nervous/unhappy/annoyed.

Praying at college bowl games and being threatened into obedience by the likes of Truett Cathy — it’s pretty much exactly how I imagined Frenchy’s offseason life.

Don’t forget to shed a McFrenchy tear when he mentions the second person who called to congratulate him on signing with the Braves!

02/08/2008 (9:06 am)

You Asked For It, You Got It

Filed under: Chipper,Preseason

Last year I complained that we didn’t get a truck story.

This year? Behold.

Clearly this is a sign that I have become a real mover and shaker in the Braves blogging world. I’m sure Chipper will be showing up in my “chat room” to call me a douchebag any day now.

02/05/2008 (9:13 pm)

Slow News Day 136

Filed under: Preseason

Not a lot going on right now, and I’m not really in the mood for talking about the trades or even the Former House Mates’ Offseason Adventures in Matrimony (though that day will come), so please enjoy this Hank Aaron feature, which is aggressively cute.

Also: can anyone explain to me the point of specifically rating players for the impact they’ll have on fantasy teams? If they’re playing well in reality, they’re going to be good for your fantasy team . . . so . . . any projections based on reality are . . . kinda the same thing, eh?

02/04/2008 (6:39 pm)

I Hate Eli Manning

Filed under: Preseason

I was going to post last night, but then the superbowl pissed me off, so I got drunk and went to bed. And for the record, I of course hate Peyton more, and in fact mostly hate Eli just because he’s related to Peyton and looks like him.

Anyway — Daniel raised a good question this morning about the Braves’ new network for 2008, which is: what the hell is it? All I can come up with is this: a picture of Smoltz and the promise of Skip. I listen to Skip on the radio anyway, so I don’t really care who broadcasts on TV, but it is nice to have the video and audio actually sync up, so Skip is a good start for Peachtree TV. I am kind of wondering why they’ve got Joe working for them instead of Pete, but whatever. My guess is that TBS punking out was the last straw for Pete and TV, and he’ll just stick to radio now. So I suppose at some point this season I’ll have to choose between Pete on the radio and Skip on TV, which will be rough. Why split up two people who work so perfectly together? It’s like the McMansion all over again!

We’ll also have Sports South and FSN covering games, which are kind of the same channel, aren’t they? I’m not entirely sure how that works, but I know that Jerome Jurenovich is involved, so I’m against it.

I guess I should try to figure out if I even get Peachtree TV. Is it basic cable? The fact that they’ve done a shitty job of advertising it doesn’t really bode well for the actual content. Last time this year there was a lot of hubbub over the new Sports South model, which actually was pretty well done last year, Jerome aside. I hope OKT will be back, and the ridiculously frequent clubhouse interviews (I feel sorry for the guys, but fans like me do so love that bullshit), and of course the clips of Heap saying that he hates broccoli, though they will start to drive me insane sometime around May 1st, after they’ve been shown eight thousand times.

I will of course mourn the loss of the Sonic spots forever, unless some other sponsorship picks up the miked player bit.

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