V Vernacular

Category: Heap

  • It’s A Long Story

    Two things that contributed to bad defensive plays in that game: 1) Bobby starting Prado instead of Scooter. 2) Eric Byrnes. And if you can figure out how Byrnes was to blame, well. You’re probably some form of me, accessing this blog from another dimension. Hi. Totally unrelated, Bethany asked that I post the transcript […]

  • Fun With Media On New Guy Day!

    I’ve said this before, but there are times when I forget that I’m obsessed with baseball because it’s fun to watch, not just because it’s eaten my brain and I’m therefore willing to be in agony when things go wrong. Last night, New Guy Preview Night, I’ll call it, my husband went to bed early, […]

  • Hey, Remember Salty?

    So, um. Jules is getting more playing time than I expected. Like, a lot more. In fact, where the hell is Salty? Anyone seen him lately? Vizquel: Oh sweet God, is that the cold breath of Death I feel on the back of my neck?! Yes, I play for the Giants, but I’m not that […]

  • Finally, The Collection Will Be Complete

    So we’re leaving in a few hours for Heap Giveaway Day at the park. Hopefully it won’t rain on us like it did during Frenchy Giveaway Day last year . . . Here are some highlights from my old blog: Frenchy Night brought out all the #7 jerseys on fangirls and boys of all ages, […]

  • DRAMA!

    So I woke up this morning feeling like I’d only dreamed a baseball game last night, after all the off days. I came to the computer and read email for a few minutes before I remembered that there would be AP photos and quotes to harvest, brand new! And boy were there. Apparently the second […]

  • Heap in All Star Land: DAY TWO (of Two)

    Just kidding, it was the Barry Bonds Show Starring Barry! Four hours long, 70% commercials! Kicked off with the traditional Random Guy Gets Humiliated segment, sponsored by Taco Bell! Followed by awkward tribute to Willie Mays, sponsored by Cadillac, featuring Mays signing a ball and giving it to Reyes while Bonds stood nearby and looked […]

  • Heap in All Star Land: DAY ONE (of Two)

    So last night’s Home Run Derby was disturbingly Heap-free. Not that I wanted him to participate — as the contestants were walking onto the field all I could think was “thank God I don’t particularly care about any of these guys.” I was nervous for them anyway, even for Holliday. But it seemed like last […]

  • Our Reluctant All-Star

    When I first heard that Heap made the All-Star team, I was thrilled. A reason to watch all the hoopla! The possibility of more pictures of Heap riding around in The Heap Truck while modestly pawing through his goodie bag! Will LaRussa call him “Mike,” or will he come up with his own “nickname” for […]

  • Heeeeeaaaaap!

    There’s the Heap we all know and love, singlehandedly winning games and pretending he wasn’t 3-run-homer offended when they had the nerve to walk Andruw to get to him! Give ’em hell, Heap! Just before he hit his RBI single, Pete was talking Doomsday, bringing up Heap’s career .275 average in the minors, reminding us […]

  • Close Call

    Noo, Heap, don’t touch Orr, he’s bad luck!!!! Phew . . . he stopped himself just in time. Heap needs all the good luck he can get right now. His arch nemesis has recently taken his place in the lefty-platoon version of the batting order, where he is kicking ass, I must say, and rather […]