V Vernacular

Category: Heap

  • Pick Up After Yourself, Frenchy

    First Andruw ends up with Frenchy’s old brain, and now, just when I was rejoicing that Frenchy finally shaved that godawful beard he was sporting for about a week, Heap has slapped Frenchy’s old beard on his own face. Heap, WHY?! You had the lumberjack stubble thing down so well, and you’ve never made the […]

  • Break Out the Free Agent Jokes: Scooter’s Gettin’ Hitched!

    I have actual stuff to do at work today, since I’m blowing this popsicle stand next week and heading home to Atlanta after three long years in Athens (it may be the birthplace of Heap, but this town is not for me), but I’m still going to take time out of my workday to post, […]

  • Youk’s Revenge

    Not much to say about that road trip except “wow, it sucked.” I mean, sucked like I didn’t even think we were capable of sucking. Not yet, not when I was just getting used to the idea of actually staying on pace with the Mets this season. I really wanted to go into this series […]

  • Pittsburgh Gossip, Mets Rap, Frenchy vs. Heap, and Some Guy Who Bought the Team

    I haven’t updated in a few days (though I have been enjoying posting at Talking Chop, where my secret identity has already been revealed), so there is a lot to cover. I’ll get right down to it: –Thanks to Leah for letting me know that LaRoche’s fan club had some adventures in Pittsburgh with the […]

  • “The Always Ornery Maddux”

    Looks like this series against the Padres going to be a pretty exciting one for the Braves: Lerew will have his first major league start today, and Maddux goes up against Smoltz tomorrow. Last night’s game was exciting in its own way, though our offense was sleepwalking and Chuckie’s pitch-count crisis continued. But anytime there’s […]

  • Juan “Double Cheeseburger” Pierre

    That game was just fun — our pitching was brilliant, Heap was back and hitting again, and Willie is already a huge upgrade over Langerhans at the plate, and looked great in left, too. Not only was the actual game play impressive, the peripheral broadcast junk was pretty entertaining. Dave did a nice job of […]

  • Lucky Salty and Hapless Langerhans

    Well, if that doesn’t lend credence to my theory that Salty does voodoo on our catchers, I don’t know what will. Heap and Pena are injured in the same game, and then Salty comes up on his birthday? There was some chicken blood involved, I’ll bet. I love how the AP photographer got Depressed Heap […]

  • At Least The Mets Lost

    Early in the season there were a lot of stories about jobless Redman practicing in his basement during the offseason, just on the off chance that some desperate team would pick him up. Apparently he’d constructed a pitching mound and painted a backstop down there. You know what? I think that was a lie. Did […]

  • Traumatic Game, But:

    Someone has got to please please please make me a video of Heap’s reaction to Frenchy’s catch. That sucker is going right into the Heap & Frenchy’s All Time Greatest Hits library. Which is basically my hard drive. I could just kiss whoever decided to include that in the broadcast, I swear. Otherwise, shit. Time […]

  • Wait . . . What?

    I’m so frustrated over that game last night, I’m sitting here having to tell myself to calm down. I was already in an overemotional baseball place after coming across a documentary about Cubs fans during lunch yesterday, which somehow had me in near tears for an hour. And now this happens, with no baseball tonight […]